The Importance of Validation: Cash

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11 Responses

  1. Michael says:

    This is really good stuff…thank you, my friend!

  2. Em says:

    Agreeing with Michael regarding Cash’s post this morning. 100% agreeing…
    Unfortunately the situation is complicated and clouded by a category of bad actors, people, devious in character, who play a phony trauma card to manipulate, to gain who knows what… If you think you’ve never known such a person or you think no one would do such a thing….? I say you are mistaken.
    We need to be smart enough to tell the difference, but if we’re not, then we’d better assume the person is wounded – NOT the other way around.. shame on those pastors who think all trials indicate a need for more “spirituality.” Guess they skipped the book of Job. . err something…. apologies for the rant here
    God keep

  3. The New Victor says:

    Validation is acknowledging the feelings of someone else. It doesn’t mean accepting bad behaviors. This is a critical distinction. “Validate the valid, invalidate the invalid.” Feelings are neither good nor bad, they just are. Invalidation hits to the core of someone as a person. “You have no right to feel that way because of x, y, z…” is invalidation and basically telling someone that their feelings are worthless. For an emotionally fragile person, it’s akin to telling them that they themselves are worthless.

    I’ve seen people try to be supportive of those with suicide ideation. “You have everything to live for! People love you!” Or even, “God loves you!” These things may be true, but they are invalidating because they deny the emotions underlying the person with SI. Sometimes just listening is the sincerest and safest form of validation. Like Cash said, sometimes the person in distress just wants acknowledgment of their pain.

  4. Em says:

    Validate the person.. Amen, Victor… Matt 5:22 .. calling aother a fool has some strong condemnation

  5. Erunner says:

    It’s been a long road for me in my mental health journey. Fear is huge in my life as sadly I’ve made my fears larger than God. The bottom line is I didn’t believe His promises for me which led me to not trust God as I believe(d) I was separated from Him due to my defects. This leads to self loathing. My issue was feeling I was entitled to healing and to be free from suffering. I ignored Psalms Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not depend on your own understanding.
    Proverbs 3:6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Dying terrifies me. I don’t go about telling people of my anxiety and panic attacks. That can invite a lot of disagreement on so many levels as Cash has pointed out. Even though I truly suffer at times I’m still guilty of many sins; mostly of my heart. If all of this deepens my relationship with God it’s worth it all. Circumstances are different for each of us. My heart is with those who suffer. An aside……. I can’t say enough about some of the music of Keith Green and its impact on me. Music can be a salve to each of us. Thank you Michael for keeping this important topic in front of us.

  6. Michael says:

    Erunner,

    Thank you…if you have anything from your blog you’d like to run here send it on.
    I’m sorry you’re struggling…may you find some light and peace soon.

  7. erunner says:

    Thanks Michael. Shut down my blog maybe three years ago!

  8. Michael says:

    Erunner,
    I know…but if you kept anything we can use it here.

  9. Erunner says:

    Unfortunately I didn’t save a thing.

  10. JM says:

    Thank you Michael for posting these & the work Cash has done to bring it to us. I have seen the errors notated by Cash and it saddens me. I appreciate what Em and many others here have said. May God give us all wisdom to know what to say and even if we should say anything at all. I have always liked the admonition to rejoice with those who rejoice and sorrow with those who sorrow. Sometimes, that which ministered most to me was someone who didn’t say anything, but cried with me and just stayed with me.

  11. Cash says:

    Michael, thank you my brother for being such a great friend to me
    JM I am happy that the articles have affected you in a positive way. Thanks Em you always have something interesting to say. I admire that quality! Thanks too for the kind words.
    ERunner- Love you man I know you’re really going through it. Just know we’re here for you. Reach out to us if u need to. Love y’all!

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