Evangeline’s Story: The Potters Field Case
There’s many stories I’ve forgotten about my time spent at PFM- Mike & Pam- yet one I know I will never forget is leaving a dear friend, you know her as Dawn Marie. I remember her before PFM she walked into a room with a tiger like bounce smiling from ear to ear and bring joy wherever she went with a teddy bear heart… she would love on all those around her so giving and caring with a servants heart unto Jesus! This is my main regret that after I left PFM she was still there as I was responsible for her being there! She had come to move me to Montana and was asked to stay on with the ministry!
My time with PFM 2000-2004:
I’d serve this ministry for almost 4 years faithfully leaving family and friends behind but never leaving my life line which was a saving grace. Often Michael would berate and belittle because things were not done to his satisfaction! He talked for hours and hours trying to beat you down till you were broken down into nothing. Not even knowing who you were but knowing that he had the control that was always evident. Always leading with lording over you never with the servant’s heart of Jesus! Pam was often there at these times of being broken and belittled. At times she would do her part at trying to pull info from you for Mike to use against you!
I remember early on being in Florida on the side of the road with a broken-down RV someone had given the ministry and Dawn Marie and I were driving it back to MT. My brother called me to say that my Dad was in the hospital and the Doctors did not think he was going to make it that I should get there fast! Mike and Pam arrange for me to get to the airport and get me a ticket to fly home. But once I was back in Montana, Mike started to use this against me saying how the ministry had paid a thousand dollars to get me home and I owed the ministry!! I quickly learned Michael would try to use things against me or against those that were around him. So, I sold a horse that someone had gifted me to pay this debt back to the “ministry” he could no longer hold that over me even though he deposited the money back into my account after I had given him $1000 cashier’s check.
Michael would often say things like a monkey can do your job, your church does not want you back, you’ll be alone for the rest of your life, you sabotage everything, along with making gestures with his hands to simulate masturbating for whatever reason .I’m not sure why he felt this was okay! (this always made me very uncomfortable but he would just laugh it off). I never once witnessed him build up only breaking down it was always more concerned about the money then people. He would lord his authority over me and toward the end insisted on being call Pastor even though he was not ordained. He was only given a ordination to proclaim the gospel/evangelist from CC Fort Lauderdale that I knew of by Bob Coy. Here are a few of my stories from my time with Mike /Pam and PFM!
One of the many things I was responsible for was scheduling PFM- this is how he told me to schedule the ministry or had me schedule the ministry was by pulling these tally sheets that they had kept for the times of ministry from past events/services. He directed me to schedule the services/events based at the places that gave the most based on the info that was on these sheets- what the honorariums/love offering were… also compare them to how many children (note at that time they received 50 per sponsored child from WV) were sponsored and how much product sold. Yet he would be telling people at the back table when they would come and say can you come to our church and how much would it cost to come -“where God guides he provides” just give your info to my assistant. But that was not his way he strategically would have everything planned out he knew what he was doing financially. If I schedule outside of that he would let me know how this was not good for the ministry and would not met the needs- that’s putting how he responded mildly he would be angry- yet the LORD was always faithful to prove Mike wrong in this he would be blown away at how these smaller places would provide!! Still in him watching this he never fully gave way to trusting the LORD in this! I started to notice him separating Dawn Marie and I – I was becoming more isolated because I would speak up or I would often ask many questions about things that I did not agree with or understand! I had no idea that behind the scenes he was tearing me down and making me look like I was not submissive often times referring to me as a Lone Ranger to others.
Once afterward a prayer meeting where I had prayed and often times when I pray I tear up or cry, but after the meeting Michael pulled me aside mocked me for praying and for my tears and after that I asked The Lord to not allow me to cry around Michael ever again and I don’t think I prayed around him after that!
Being a worker bee, I would work hours and hours having one day off a week I traveled with them on the road for about three years never once being paid a per-diem thus causing me to have debit. Where Mike had been insistent that I had no debit upon coming to PFM which I had none when I moved there! When I asked Mike about per diems he just told me I can only use the ministry card for days that we ministered from meals and that he better not catch me using it outside that time because I had to pay my dues just like he and Pam did when they started in the ministry! This often made my bills late to pay yet Mike always had his payed on time! Often times he would come to me and let me know they were unable to pay me for a few weeks! Thus, I was forced to use me credit cards to live off of!
They had given me a phone told me I did not need mine anymore so I got rid of my line. Yet once Mike saw that I would use the phone to call my folks or friends after hours he came unglued into a rage on me how dear I use this phone for other thing then ministry!! Once again doing his best to use things against me and isolate!! I had no way to get a phone because I could not afford one. May Dad had called me on the ministry line one day to see how I was getting along and I was so scared Mike would find out! I told my Dad not to call me anymore on this line because I was unable to use it for personal calls. I told him I would call from a land line when I could- I was with the Ministry on the road now and driving a lot so I didn’t get a chance to find a phone to call. So, my Dad purchased me a phone for personal use they paid for that for about six months and then I took over the payments because I did not want him paying for this phone I knew they couldn’t afford it! Again, something Michael could not hold over my head but those are the things he would do!
I recall a time we were in Florida I hurt my back. I called Michael to tell him I couldn’t even walk and he screamed at me on the phone saying how I did not take care of myself I was now a liability to the ministry and that I needed to figure it out and he hung up the phone. I was blown away at his lack of concern yet used to him being a bully and always making things about him, Pam and PFM! (Not quite sure how I was supposed to take care of myself since I work 24 seven for the most part for this ministry giving everything I had!) Yet the Lord provide once again He (i know the Lord was using these moments to try and get Mike’s attention yet he never responded) had given me a friend there and she gave me a number for a chiropractic Doctor who had a mobile unit and with everything in me I was able to drive to where he was parked and he worked on me. He and his wife asked me to come again that night to their home so that I could be adjusted again because I was in so much pain they invited me in for dinner and never charge me a dime they also gave me things that would help me with my back. Not once did Michael or Pam call me during that time to see if I was okay or how I was getting along. I showed up to the next event still in pain and not walking well yet the Lord was gracious to me! Still no concern from Mike or Pam!
Another time we were in Michigan. I had a very dear friend who had moved there from Colorado she was like a sister to me her and her kids were family to me! I’d mentioned to Michael and Pam that she was like a sister to me and the kids like nieces and nephews! After this time of ministry Michael pulled me aside and told me a story about his brother. He proceeded to say how his brother would often say that his “friend” was his brother now Mike’s brother was living a homosexual lifestyle. To which I asked him what are you implying that me and my friend are lesbians? So angry and hurt at this point ( I had already been w PFM for 3 years) because they didn’t know me well enough to know that that was never me nor had I ever be a part of something like that because that is not how the Lord created me! He kept pushing for a bit to make me say that I was this type of person and in that lifestyle to which I responded back to him and told him no this was not true it was in his own mind and thoughts!
Often times Michael would ignore me at events at churches and services making me walk on pins and needles not knowing what would upset him next. I begin to grow weary and tired of all the things that would go on that were unnecessary and ungodly!
I was also in charge of up keep of the vehicles and the maintenance. Again, on the road with them the truck was having problems that I had already taken in for repair, while Pam was driving it and the check engine light came on she told Mike and he went into a rage saying how I did not take care of this and I was wasting money!! Left me on the road alone to deal with the issue …we were in Florida at the time and I would have to drive alone to MT once I got the issue looked and fixed. Once it was repaired and I started back fuel was getting low and had to get fuel now this is a diesel pickup truck so not all stations had this. I finally found a station fueled up and was on my way. However, about an hour into this the truck was knocking and I pulled over because I knew enough to know this was not right. Called Mike to let him know and I arranged for tow into the next town with a dealership that could look at it. Next morning the mechanic called me asked me to come in so he could show me what he found. Once there he asked could I have mistakenly filled the truck with regular gas. I told him I did not think so has I recalled looking for a station with diesel and it was hard to find one. But I had done just that to my horror knowing how Mike would respond! However, the mechanic said it was a good thing, he then proceeds to show me the right front tire and how it was wobbly and ready to come off the truck! He said had I been going 50 or more MPH it could have been fatal or just a really bad accident! I was so blown away at this and Gods hand once again in this! I then called Mike and told him what the mechanic said, how he said it was a good thing with the fuel and that the engine was not going to need repair they just had to flush it out yet had I not done this I could have been in a terrible accident has the wheel was about to come off the truck! Michael without any concern for my safety went into a full blown rage on the phone telling me how I was costing the ministry for my lack of responsibility and negligence in fueling the truck how Pam was beside herself crying saying how I was going to be at fault for bankrupting the ministry! He told me I had to pay for the fuel part of this repair out of my own pocket and the rest could go on the ministry card and that I sabotaged everything I touched! (this was his latest term because he was reading a book and it used this term for explaining some people) Once again I was not to talk with anyone on staff or outside of PFM about this! Never once offering grace or seeing the Lords sovereignty in things to grab his attention!!
So, when things were at there worst I came to fear Mike and his raging and took on things that were not my own to take on! Full of fear because of his issues in raging I once thought wow Mike may not rage on Pam any longer but now he has turned this toward those that serve PFM he had never really dealt with it!
It all came down to Mike bluffing and I called him on it:
In the end at an event with Pam at a lady’s retreat -Pam asked me to bring food into her room when they had asked us not to take food into these rooms because of mice and problems they had with ants they kindly asked us to eat in the designated areas. I questioned Pam on this when she asked me because she did not want to come out of the room and be with people until it was time for her to teach! At this time there was another young lady on the road helping out for a short time, a sweet young lady shy yet always willing to serve and care for others I was sad for her being there after I left! This young lady took her food because I was really unwilling to do so at the time and not breaking the rules – always remember Michael saying that we needed to abide by all rules that were given to us when we were at the venues/events/churches so we would be above reproach in all things!
Once we were done with the event and we are at a friend’s house celebrating my birthday and hers this friend’s,Pam treated me pretty much like I did not exist! I was tired and kindly removed myself from the situation and headed back to the RV park with another assistant. On the way home Michael called me and screamed at me for a very long time on the phone regarding what had taken place at the event and how I was insubordinate! I tried explaining to him that they had asked us not to take food into the rooms. However, he felt like Pam was above not following the rules! Once he arrived at the RV park he came to the trailer where I stayed raged on me braided me belittled me for hours .I just kept firing back things he became angrier when he saw that I was not crying or broken! He told me I was done and not to go around their bus or try and talk with Pam! Never once during these times did I ever hear Mike talk about Jesus or the gospel it was always things about the authority that was placed over me and he was that authority and the Lord had placed him there! At that point that night Mike fired me, took away the ministry phone the ministry credit cards and (he had not paid me in four weeks I was flat broke) he went on until about two in the morning. When he found out he could not break me down he left very angry! He told me he was sending me back to MT with Dawn Marie and I was finished with PFM and that he would make sure no one hired me. Making it a point to tell me I was not to call or talk to anyone on staff at that time about any of this! The next morning I was up early and contacted a friend to let them know what took place, they told me to just get to MT and then make my way back home. I expressed how I was fearful of Mike and did not want to ride back to MT that my cards were maxed and I had not been paid for weeks. After this Mike returned to the trailer and said he just could not believe I had not been broken that night nor had I gone to Pam to seek forgiveness- to which I replied you told me not to go near her or your bus (but these things were always a test) with Mike he went on to tell me this and I had not passed the test again! I was to fuel up the truck and met him at the clay distributor! While on the way there I was contacted by a friend and she told me the church had purchased me a plane ticket from LAX to MT I just needed to get to the airport. So when I got to the clay place Mike was there and I told him I was not going home with Dawn Marie- ( I was telling him this the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart to say he was bluffing about me being fired but I was calling his bluff)! Once again went into a full blown rage on me for about an hour if front of this place of business! He finally left once he knew I was standing my ground he told me I was not to contact anyone from PFM or any of the Pastors or churches!
Once I was back in a safe environment I realized just how broken and messed up I was! I only felt safe in my best friend’s home with her family and the four walls of the church! Outside of that I was a mess- if I heard a diesel truck start I would cringe if someone approached me quickly I was taken back, I even remember telling my best friend I did not even know if I was saved! I was depressed and anxiety ridden to the point my Dr put me on meds and in God’s grace He showed me what my depression was caused from in a devotion one morning – the bible talks “about anxiety in the heart of man causes depression but a good word makes it glad” Prov 12:25! I stopped taking the meds which made me not feel well anyway and the Lord help me through. (please note that is is how the Lord worked for me in the state of depression and anxiety I know He works other ways using meds for others) It took me much time to heal and still have some issues with people raising their voices.
Yet my biggest regret was ever having Dawn Marie help me move to MT and her staying behind when I left along with another young lady as well as not doing more to push those who know to do more in holding Mike and Pam accountable! Side note: Dawn Marie and I have talked since then and in God’s grace she has found forgiveness for me! In the end I learned much about not putting man in place of the LORD, the Lord has used this my time since then to help others, I am thankful for the Lord and Him being able to use this for His glory! In the end realizing Mike was never concerned with others only in the way he and Pam looked on the outside while everything behind closed doors was a mess and out of control!! I heard this the other day regarding Saul in the bible – He should’ve looked after his character rather than who he was to the people on the outside. Saul’s leadership was with fear and no accountability or regard for others. Much like Mike and Pam’s leadership yet the Lord in His grace gave many opportunities for them to be faithful and repent yet like Saul they have never chosen this! It is my prayer that they do chose to repent and allow the Lord to heal!
I would also like to ask for forgiveness to those I hurt pushed away or caused any harm with words or actions during this time at PFM! And thank those who were there to help me through this difficult time in restoring me in my broken state and used to provide for me! Thankful for all those who have come forward in their courage to tell their stories God bless you all for your transparency and desire for truth to be known that healing can take place!
God bless you all,