I feel him before I ever see him and when he rubs across my legs I kneel down and I dump his food in a white bowl and he crawls up in my lap for a moment before he eats.
Every morning, I say the same thing to him…”we’re still here, buddy”.
I wonder if he worries that I won’t show up like I worry whether he will…but so far we’ve managed to find each other in the dark and been relieved every time we do.
Darkness is a great metaphor for where we’re all at, but it’s a hard metaphor to live in…always straining for some light.
The boy is confused and confusion leads to frustration and that to anger and he’s angry a lot these days.
He seeks an answer so he asks…but I say one thing, mom says another, grandma saw a video, but grampa says, my co-workers say…the answers are all different, all from trusted sources, all said with certainty and with an edge.
He’s been taught to seek the truth, but all the truth tellers in his life have different truths.
There is always the unspoken implication that if you love me you’ll believe me.
Choosing between them seems worse than living in confusion.
What’s the point in trying?
Every morning I open up my computer to this site that has become my life’s work and I read that at one time it was a “online community of faith” and I know that statement hasn’t been true for a long time.
The “community” succumbed to the same political strains that have ruined many other places and it’s just another website now.
We all endure the conflicting voices said with certainty and an edge…until we realize that one click brings silence.
I ask the Lord what the point is in continuing.
He tells me to ask Bowden.
Bowden says “bearing witness”.
I know that I have heard truth and I receive it as one who hears it’s time for a colonoscopy.
Truth is often what you do not want to hear.
So…what will we bear witness to?
There is light in the darkness and His name is Jesus.
There is truth and His name is Jesus.
There is a true church and there are imitations and both must be marked.
There is a normative and historic Christian faith.
That what is true is often not convenient or popular.
That a politically shaped faith is no faith at all.
There are wolves and they must be marked…even if the sheep prefer them to shepherds.
That someday all things, even this “community”, will be restored.
It’s dark out and I can’t see you…but we’re still here…trying to bear witness.
Someday, I hope it will again be a joy for all us to know we’re here together in the darkness looking for light…