From One PFM Survivor To The Others
To the survivor
Your still surviving even though you may not be thriving
You no longer have to listen to what they say
You get to choose this day
You may look back and be reminded of the pain
You feel your life is now stained
But breathe in this present moment, you are safe
Look at the horizon, let the wind touch your skin
HE is not mad. You are forgiven of all your sin
Freedom is now real, but let this take you farther than how you feel
The emotions are all over, the depression is current.
It’s okay to accept that reality is NOW.
You aren’t any of those lies, even though Satan is trying to keep them up, even without the disguise
But it’s not the real you. You have been made new
“Trust” is a common Christian word but a hard concept
Don’t trust anyone but Him
That alone is hard to say. I don’t really believe the truth I speak, but I want to.
Keep wanting to want
Don’t stop fighting even though you feel your drowning
Sit in silence and just be
You don’t have to force the scripture or immerse yourself in a new community…
unless you want; do what you want.
No one can say whether your right or wrong, and if they do, it’s before HIM you stand
Let the Spirit be your comforter and counselor.
I know… His voice is silent right now
His guidance seems lacking
His presence no longer powerful as it once was
But this is where real faith and the real YOU is tested
Are you upon the Solid Rock? Or upon the crumbling ground?
Remember Joseph, Job, David, and all that they endured. Remember the miracles in your own life.
It’s okay to be triggered
But don’t grow numb
Push into this storm and the One who will get you through it
I don’t want anyone to tell me to trust or go to church
I’d rather just tell everyone to shut up and let me just sit…
Sit in silence, sit in “worship,” sit and let my experience and knowledge of God become renewed
Re-learn His character as a baby infant
Re-learn His attributes as my true Shepherd
I trigger myself with these words, but I know it’s necessary for me to continue speaking truth
I know I need to hear it, even if I don’t believe it
God doesn’t hate me
He isn’t screaming or angry
His rage isn’t upon you dear Child
His love is abundant and this is where you get to truly learn what grace is
You get to be saved by the Savior
Yes, we were victims. Yes, we suffered
But God is still God
Never has changed in love for you and I.
Never has HE forsaken us even though we’ve mentally and physically forsaken Him in these last two months.
Take ahold of this present moment and remember
No one is telling you how to live
No one is telling you who God is
He’s yours and you are His
Now let truth radiate around you
Eventually it will get better… at least that’s what I’ll continue to tell myself
You are a survivor. But if you lose hope and hold onto the anger and pain, the man who once controlled you still has that power, so what have you gained?
In your time and in His grace, you will be able to let go
But work through it, ask for help, reach up and out
You are not alone
Your a survivor who now has lessons for life
Lessons to be watchful, lessons to keep the rest of your days
It’s hard now, but don’t lose hope
You still have a family, one of the greatest blessings of it all, all around the world.
A community always willing to encourage and lift up
So please, don’t give up
Your a survivor and so am I, so may we learn to let the past die
Live right now, a new life on earth
But remember, you apart of the re-birth
Heaven is your home… This eternal perspective will keep you, so stop standing alone.”