I’ve been through it, but He went through it with me.
I’ve leaned that Psalm 139 is literally true…He is wherever I am, even when it feels like I’m in hell.
I spoke with Him constantly and He never told me to shut up… even when I was hallucinating.
I used foul language on more than one occasion and though I caught myself, it didn’t seem to matter much.
His presence was there and He manifested Himself through so many hands and hearts that I was never not aware of His presence.
Not everyone works for Him, though, at least not knowingly.
Which brings me to the last day I was there…the day when they removed that awful chest tube which meant I was healed enough to go home.
When your lung collapses, it’s reinflated by sticking a tube through your ribcage that is attached to many feet of plastic hose, that is in turn attached to suction. It is miserable, uncomfortable and hurts like hell going in and out. It also is what saves your life, so you deal with it.
When the lung has healed and the hole has sealed itself the tube comes out…pulled out rapidly and forcefully, then the hole is sutured together and you go home.
In the hands of a physician the process is painful, in the hands of a sadist it is true torture.
I got the sadist.
I’ll spare you the details, but the end of the performance was when he lifted me up by the sutures, spun them rapidly, yanked them taut, whirled and threw his gloves away, and left the room.
He had not only hurt me, he had gained pleasure from doing so.
“I saw him”.
That’s what I heard Jesus say… above all the inner roar of my pain, I heard Him.
“I saw him”.
He didn’t stop him…He didn’t make it hurt less, He didn’t drop him on the spot…but He wanted me to know that He was bearing witness to what had just happened to me.
“I saw him”… said the One will will judge the living and dead.
My friends, He has borne witness to it all…He has missed nothing.
You need not keep a ledger of wrongs and offenses against you…He has seen them and will bear witness for you on that day.
You need not seek vengeance…it is His and He will wield it.
Make your own application.