A spiritually mature cat, she gives thanks before receiving the blessing.
She has no doubt that the blessing is coming, she just has to wake up the blesser.
As I sit up in bed, she’s already positioned by the bowl evidencing no doubt that her bowl will be filled.
She has no thoughts that I might run out of cat food or that I might just not get up.
We’ve been together a long time.
She knows me.
She trusts me.
She thanks me .
She loves me.
She knows she belongs to me and that I will care for her.
The strays I feed, on the other hand, do not start the day with such confidence.
They scratch frantically at my door and when the door is opened they howl as if I need convinced to feed them, as if I was reluctant to bless them.
They fear me as much as they need me…they usually avoid my attempts to pet them or hold them.
They eat their fill and flee, returning to the outside where they feel safe… even though they’re not.
I try to help them…I make little shelters for them that I hope they’ll use when it’s cold and rainy.
Sometimes they use them, sometimes, they don’t.
I look for all of them every day.
Miss Kitty was a stray once, but she changed her identity to that of a beloved family member.
As I was attempting to pray the Daily Office this morning, I realized that I pray like a stray.
I think like one too…
My “bowls” are all empty and I’m howling at God to help…as if He need convinced to have mercy on me, as if He was reluctant to bless me.
I live on the verge of panic and trust no shelter.
Despite all our years together, I’m not convinced that I can trust Him.
I’m not as spiritually mature as my cat.
I want to be.
I want to know Him.
I want to trust Him.
I want to thank Him.
I want to love Him.
I want to know that I belong to Him and He will care for me.
I believe, Lord…help my unbelief…and give me the faith of a former stray.
Make your own application…