Treatment would be exorbitantly expensive and may kill her anyway, so we’re treating her with hemp oil and an ointment for her eye.
I lay hands on her and pray.
In this season where it seems that we all live in the far north where there is never any light, my darkness has grown even darker by the lengthening shadow of her impending death.
There is a place in our souls where when it’s been dark for too long, light seems painful…that place is created when we’re too tired to seek light that can be found.
I dwell among those so weary.
Miss Kitty is responding differently than I am.
She knows she is not well… she can’t see out of one eye and her treatments cause her stress.
Still, she’s making the most of her time.
She gets unlimited one on one time with me now as she’s restricted to the house.
She loves to sit with me while I work and she sleeps with me , holding paws all night until she wakes me up for breakfast.
She purrs more and more easily than she did before.
She has poured herself into our friendship, making the most of the time we have.
She has joy.
Someday soon, we will have to take one more trip out of the house and she won’t return home with me.
I fear that day more than any scenario of hell I have ever imagined.
However, I will not be taking her to die, I will be taking her to a place where she transfers to our new home that has been made for us…a place not made with hands… where the tears I’m already crying will be wiped away and cancer has no place.
I’ll just be sending her ahead to wait for me and know she’ll be well cared for…very well cared for.
For now, I’m going to try to imitate her.
She knows it’s dark and getting darker.
There is joy in her darkness.
She can’t see well, but she sees the light.
She seeks the light.
She makes the light.
She loves the light.
Make your own application…